Beautiful in His Time

"It's good to have the no because the no leads us to a better yes.”

This is something my friend Sarah told me during a conversation last year, when we were discussing how God divinely works in ways that don't always make sense to our human minds, working things for our good, even when we can't see.

In the moment, though, the no does not feel good. It can be easy to feel frustrated, angry, or even bitter with God. We can throw little fits like children, angry with God that He is not doing what we want. We may get impatient with God's timing and think that God is taking too long, or maybe that He isn't hearing us. The reality is that God is behind the scenes, orchestrating something even bigger and better for us. Greater than we can even imagine.

I’m going to be a little honest right now. I was struggling with frustration and impatience over God's timing in this season of life I'm in. After graduating from college, I have been in a dry, waiting season. I thought that after I graduated, God would open a door for me in Texas, and I would be able to find a job writing and be able to stay with the friends and community I had found in college. I did not think God would send me back home to work at a 9-5 office job. But he did just that. I kept looking back at how my life was in college and missing how things were, feeling discontent, with the same routine every day, and no other open doors. I will admit, I did not have the greatest attitude towards God about this. I found myself feeling so frustrated and angry with God, feeling forgotten and abandoned. This distrust in God’s goodness was making me distance myself from God, which I didn’t even realize. God had to reveal these ugly feelings deep in my heart and change my attitude and perspective in the waiting.

I can say now that I have a better attitude about this waiting season I'm in. I still have desires and dreams in my heart that have not been fulfilled yet, but I am more at peace and content, trusting that in God's time, He will fulfill them. I've also realized that God isn't keeping me in this waiting for no reason, and that there is a purpose to this season I'm in. It's hard to wait when our hearts are longing for more, but God’s timing is not meant to hurt us; it’s meant to prepare us. And in this dry, waiting season I've been in, God has been doing a lot in me, preparing me for what He has for me next. He has done a lot of pruning in my heart, removing ugly roots of insecurity, fear, and idols I had put above Him. In this season where it has felt lonely at times, I have drawn closer to God in an intimate way, where I have fallen more in love with Him and his presence. I have been able to pour into those who are in my life right now, showing His love and kindness. I have continued to use the gift of writing God has given to me, reminded that even small things can have a big impact. I have seen God work many little miracles in this season of life, reminding me He is still with me and taking care of me.

Someone in the Bible who inspired me in this season of my life was Joseph. He was a man who faced many unfavorable circumstances, but whose faith remained consistent, seeing God's goodness and provision in unexpected ways. Found in the book of Genesis 37, Joseph was the son of Jacob and had 11 other brothers. Joseph was his father’s favorite son because he was a “miracle child,” whose mother could not have children, but then had him. Because of this, Joseph’s brothers were very jealous of him. They were so jealous that they came up with an evil plan: they threw him into a well and then sold him into slavery to the Egyptians. Here, we see Joseph, an elevated and loved son, taken into the lowest position of a slave.

But in the midst of this bad situation, God’s favor was upon him. Joseph prospered as a slave of the Egyptian master Potiphar and found success, being elevated to his right-hand man, overseeing all his property. But things soon took a turn for the worse. Potiphar’s wife tried to make romantic advances towards Joseph, but after he rejected her, she became angry and accused him of trying to rape her. Potiphar was angry and threw him into prison. Here in prison, Joseph remained faithful to God and continued to use his gifts, which included interpreting dreams. After interpreting the dream of a chief cupbearer (an official of the Egyptian ruler, Pharaoh, who would serve him drinks, to ensure they weren't poisoned), the cupbearer was released from prison, just like Joseph had told him. The chief cupbearer forgot about Joseph and did not end up telling Pharaoh about him, like he said he would. But what is so amazing is that two years later, when Pharaoh is having weird dreams he wants interpreted, the cupbearer then remembers Joseph and tells Pharaoh how Joseph had interpreted his dream. Then Pharaoh sends for Joseph, and when Joseph interprets his dreams, he is amazed and has Joseph put in charge of the whole land of Egypt.

How crazy is that!? What seemed like a horrible situation for Joseph, being thrown into prison, God was working behind the scenes to turn it for his good. Even when Joseph was forgotten by the cupbearer, he was not forgotten by God. No, God did not have him rescued at that moment, and it took time. But even when it seemed like God was being silent, He was preparing something miraculous behind the scenes.

How many times have we felt overlooked or forgotten by people and by God? Feeling like God is silent, like our prayers and cries are just bouncing off the ceiling? Feeling like He doesn't care, just leaving us in our hard situation? But what if we just changed our mindset while we are waiting? Through all the hardships Joseph faced, he remained faithful to God, his trust in the Lord staying strong. And eventually, he did see the favor and blessings of the Lord.

If God took care of Joseph, His son, He will take care of me and you. That is a promise you can rest in today. No matter what your situation looks like right now or the longings in your heart that you have yet to see fulfilled, rest in the character and goodness of God. He is not a cruel God watching you in your pain, but a loving God working behind the scenes for your good. Focus on where God has you now, and lean into the moment and what He is trying to grow in you and teach you, seeing this as a preparation period for what blessing is coming. Because it is on its way! It may not be when you want it, or exactly what you had in mind, but rest in knowing, like it says in Ecclesiastes 3:11, “He makes everything beautiful in its time.”

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God, you say I can trust you,

But right now,

I don’t think I do.

I’m sorry for feeling this,

The guilt is heavy in my heart.

But how can I not?

When everything seems to be falling apart.

I know you have plans

to prosper me and not to harm.

But right now, I can’t seem to move past

this longing in my heart.

Between my current reality

and the promises I have yet to see.

Between unfulfilled dreams

and desires you’ve placed inside me.

You say your plans are good,

but it doesn’t feel good right now.

You say your way is perfect,

but I’m trying to understand how.

I find myself looking back,

grieving the things I once had.

I find myself discontent,

focusing on what I lack.

Yet, when I can’t trace your hand,

I can always trust your heart.

My circumstances may change,

but you will never change who you are.

My good Father: 

Loving,

Gentle,

and Kind.

God of the Universe:

Mighty,

Sovereign,

and Wise.

Even when I can’t see it,

you are working behind the scenes.

Orchestrating each moment

like a perfect puzzle piece.

When I am hit with disappointment,

Questioning the why.

I will remind myself that

"You make everything beautiful in its time."