To the Person in their Twenties

No one really warns you how strange life feels after graduating from college. After four years of familiar routines of classes and late-night fast-food runs with friends, you are suddenly thrown into a world that expects you to have your whole future mapped out. Everyone around you seems to be moving forward: getting married, starting careers, building lives, while you’re left wondering if you’re falling behind.

The future feels foggy and dark, suffocating, even. A weird, lonely feeling creeps in. You feel a little stuck, a little confused, a little scared that you’ll never make it out.

Find a job. Find a spouse. Buy a house. Have kids.

There is so much pressure placed on us in our twenties to meet these milestones as quickly as possible.

I’m only 23 years old, but I’m already feeling these pressures. I am surrounded by friends getting engaged and married, starting their new chapters of life, while I’m still living at home with my parents. I have a steady, well-paying job, but my heart seems to be longing for more. I’ve become so fixated on the future, on accomplishing my dreams, that I feel stuck in my present.

I’ve been believing that the life I’m living right now lacks purpose, that I’m not doing anything meaningful because it is not big. Because I have a passion and a gift for writing, I often feel like I should be using it in a big way to make a difference, especially as a career. It’s hard to stay motivated at my 9–5 office job when my heart longs for work that feels more aligned with my faith and what I love.

But I had an epiphany recently.

Even if I did get this “dream” job, I’m sure I would still get tired and still feel unmotivated at times. My life wouldn’t suddenly become perfect just because I got the job I wanted. I think that’s my problem. I’ve been chasing this ideal version of what my future can be instead of living in my present.

Yes, I have a passion to write, and yes, I have dreams of using my writing. God placed those desires in my heart. But I don’t want to miss the beautiful moments in my life right now because I’m so focused on what’s next. The nights when I am laughing with my little sister. The morning drives to work, where I listen to worship music and talk to God. Having my mom pray for me on hard days. Writing an encouraging blog post for a weary heart.

These moments matter.

And I know I’m not alone in this. I’m sure you have your own dreams and desires tucked away in your heart, too; maybe it’s becoming a wife or a mother, owning a business, traveling the world, etc. Those dreams matter. But so does the life you’re living today.

When we hold onto our dreams too tightly, we can lose sight of the present moment we’re living in. In the process, we become so consumed with finding our purpose that we forget to live. Maybe purpose isn’t something found in the big moments, but something we live out quietly in the season we’re in.

And this season I’m in now is preparing me for what’s ahead. My season of singleness is preparing me to be a wife and mother one day. My current job is teaching me skills I’ll carry into the next one.

Wherever you find yourself right now is exactly where you are meant to be. This season is shaping you too, giving you the skills, experience, and growth you’ll need for what’s ahead.

Don’t compare your timeline to someone else’s. That’s their story. And just because yours looks different doesn’t mean it’s any less meaningful.

You are not behind.

You are not failing.

You are right where you are meant to be.

Maybe their story includes getting married at 21.

And maybe yours includes getting married at 30.

There’s nothing wrong with either story.

All of us are living out our own stories. Each one unique and beautiful.  

Every season comes with its own beauty and its own challenges. Being a parent isn’t easy. Owning a home takes work. Even your dream job won’t be perfect.

So, my advice to those of you in your twenties is this: stop striving, stop comparing, and be present in whatever season you are in. You will never get this moment back, so cherish it.

This messy, chaotic season of your twenties, swirling with unpredictability and change, but also growth and excitement.

A season of open and closed doors, laughter and tears, bumps in the road, but also small victories along the way.

A season of mistakes and lessons, where you are discovering who you are.

A season where heartbreak is felt, but love is also found, where some friendships fade and new ones are formed, and where memories are made that you’ll tell your grandchildren about one day.

Stop looking to the future to begin living.

Your life is not on hold.

It is happening right now.

And right now, matters.

To the person in their twenties reading this, take a deep breath. You still have time. You are right where you need to be, and your story is still unfolding.

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“I should be married by now.”

“I should have kids by now.”

“I should have a house by now.”

These are the thoughts

many people in their twenties feel:

the pressure of milestones not yet met.

It feels like everyone is moving ahead,

while you’re stuck,

left behind,

wondering when your time will come.

You carry dreams hidden in your heart,

but it feels like time is running out.

Like your dreams sit far on the horizon

while you stand still,

slowly

wasting away.

Breathe.

It’s okay.

You are not stuck.

You are not behind.

You are exactly where you’re meant to be.

Everyone has their own timeline,

and comparison is the thief of joy.

It convinces you that you’re late,

when you’re just on your own path.

Maybe you aren’t where you want to be

and that’s okay.

You still have time.

Time to figure out what you want.

Time to discover who you want to be.

You don’t have to rush through this season.

Let yourself cherish the present.

Your dreams will come in time.

But don’t discredit the moment

you’re living right now.

The life you’re living today,

the choices you make and the lessons you’ve learned,

are preparing you

for the life you’ll live tomorrow.

Learning.

Loving.

Growing.

These are your milestones.

Right now, is not a pause,

it is preparation for the life you want.

To the person in their twenties,

just breathe:

you’re going to be okay. 😊