Sitting in the Storm

Have you ever felt like you were in a storm?

Being hit left and right by uncontrollable waves, the darkness suffocating, where you didn't even have the words to say, and all you had were tears?

I have. And I'm sure you have too.

It breaks my heart when I see the pain people around me are facing. A mom grieving the loss of her little girl, her life taken too soon. A child suffering from abuse and neglect, from the people who were supposed to protect them. Someone fighting chronic pain every single day, weary, with no medical cure available. Someone suffering deep heartbreak, feeling shattered and broken from the betrayal of a person they loved.

Unfortunately, pain is a part of life. In John 16:33, Jesus was talking to his disciples and said, "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

I think there has been this misconception that believing in God means there will be no suffering or hardship. But being a Christian does not make us immune to pain. We just have someone with us whose peace and love surrounds us, even in our brokenness. We don't have to hide any of it from God. With Him, it's okay to not be okay. We don't have to be joyful all the time, put together with smiles on our faces. God never put that expectation on us. It's not faith to pretend that you’re not sad. It’s not weakness to cry.

Don’t suppress your emotions, telling yourself you have to be strong. Let yourself feel all the emotions. Cry. Grieve. Yell if you have to. Pour it all out at His feet. God is not scared away by your emotion or pain. He understands it. Jesus came down to Earth and was human just like us. He experienced grief, pain, heartbreak, and betrayal. He felt it all. In John 11, when He showed up at his friend Lazarus’s tomb after his death, He knew the miracle He was about to do, and yet, He still wept. In Matthew 26:39, right before He was about to go to the cross, Jesus cried out to God, knowing what he was about to experience. How powerful is that? Jesus, who was perfect, still cried.

I heard a powerful message one time at a women’s conference that shaped my view on pain and sadness. In her story, she shared a lot of painful experiences she had gone through; many moments of heartache and pain. But in the midst of that, there was beauty. She shared something powerful that God had spoken to her during the darkest season of her life. He brought to mind how, when she was a little girl, she was not scared of storms because she would watch the storms with her dad outside on the porch. And so, even surrounded by a storm, she felt peace because her dad was there with her. So, whenever a storm would come, she would get excited because it meant she could spend time with her dad. She then asked us, “What if we looked at storms in our lives as an opportunity to spend time with our Dad (God)?”

I experienced this for myself in a season of my life when I was facing a very hard and confusing situation. I was trusting in God’s timing and being obedient, but in doing this, it really hurt my heart. I just felt so sad. And I couldn’t shake the sadness. I was praying for God to change the situation in that instant, because I knew he could, but He didn’t. As I lay there crying in my bed, too weary to even pray, I felt peace. It was the strangest thing. To feel so sad, yet to have perfect peace.

Now I can see that God was not rushing me in my sadness, but was sitting in there with me. He did not stop the storm that was surrounding me, but He sat in there with me. And in that, I found perfect peace, as He held me in His arms, catching my tears. Yes, I believe one day the storm will be removed. But until then, I get to spend time with my Dad sitting and watching the storm.