Is Love Worth the Cost?

For anyone who has loved and lost:

Grief can come in many different forms.

The loss of a loved one. The death of a pet. The end of a relationship.

If you have ever loved, then you more than likely have lost.

Last fall, I lost my childhood cat Sophie who I have had since I was a little girl. She grew up with me and saw me through every stage of life. She was more than a cat to me; she was my best friend. Sophie was my feisty girl; she didn't really like people or other animals. But she had a soft spot for me. I think I understood her in a way not many people could. I was always dreading this day, and when it came, it really broke my heart.

As I was grieving my cat and feeling all the pain that came with that, I was thinking to myself how I would not want to get another cat again, because it hurt too much. Then I started thinking about if it hurts this much to lose my cat, then I can’t imagine losing a close family member, friends, or even the person I would marry someday. And that terrified me. Because I realized that I am the type of person who loves with my whole heart, but that means I can get hurt more. Because the more you love, the more you can hurt. The thing is, we live in an imperfect world which means there is death, heartbreak, betrayal. People are not always as kind or loving back to you as you would want them to be. “Is it even worth it?” I thought to myself. Is opening your heart and loving people worth the cost?

I went to bed with these thoughts in my mind, mulling over the cost of love.That next day, we had to bury my cat, and I was sobbing as I had to say my final goodbye to her. My dad said he wanted to read something, and he started to read the famous quote by Alfred Tennyson, “I hold it true, whate’er befall, I feel it, when I sorrow most; Tis better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all.”

When he read that, I felt a peace wash over me, as I found an answer to the question that had been in my mind all night long. Yes, this hurt to lose my cat, but I was grateful for all those thirteen years that I had with her. It was worth it. I realized it is better to love and lose, than to never love at all. You may try to protect yourself from getting hurt, but in doing so, you will live a very cold life devoid of warmth and happiness. And that’s heartbreaking.

If you were to ask someone who is grieving the loss of their husband or wife if they regret meeting them or marrying them, I think they would answer no. Loving their husband or wife did cost them because now they have to feel the pain of their loss, but all those years they got to experience with them was worth it.

Choosing to love is always worth it!

Love may be worth it, but it's not always easy; loving does come with a cost. Something I heard while I was grieving the loss of my cat was that “Grief is the cost of love.” I think grieving someone is one of the most painful things we can experience in this world. It may get easier over time, but we will always feel the hole of that person or animal who is now gone. But grief is not always a bad thing. Grieving someone also means you were able to love someone. It means you were able to smile and laugh and make memories with them. And that’s beautiful.

After experiencing heartbreak, many people become afraid to love again because they want to avoid the pain. If you are reading this right now and can relate to this, I want to encourage you.  Whenever the fear of loving comes into your mind, take that step over your fear, however small it may be, and choose to love! Don’t be afraid. As the Bible says in I John 4:18, “Perfect love casts out all fear.”

And the only perfect love is the love of God. Earthly love is fleeting, but the love of God is never ending. He will never break your heart, leave you, betray you, or even die. His love lasts forever.

His love is an example to us of how we should love. When Jesus was on the cross, it was painful, and it cost him. He did it for us, realizing that some of us would reject him. But we were worth it.

Moments have come in my life where I have doubted doing something kind or showing love to a person because I am afraid that I will just be hurt in the end, or it won’t even make a difference what I do. But then I realize, that if I choose to show love to this person, something good can come out of it. Maybe I won’t ever see the fruit of it, but doing this could help that person. Maybe that person will hurt me eventually, but what I did could have lasting impacts. And that’s all that matters. There is never a waste in showing love because love never fails!

You can also choose to love!

Please, don’t let the fear of heartbreak or pain stop you from loving. Don’t let past heartbreak make you put up a wall around your heart, afraid to let anyone in. Don’t let the death of a loved one make you fearful for those around you, making you miss the moments you have now. Don’t let a past betrayal, stop you from showing kindness or compassion to people.

Love. Love. Love.

Because like my dad has told me, “ You cannot love and lose.”